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Showing posts from February, 2018

How to be happier. Spoiler: stop focusing on the wrong things

I was driving around the snowy roads of BFE, stressing about all the ways I have failed in the past, the ways I am currently failing, and the ways I will potentially fail in the future. Then I was stopped physically and mentally thanks to an unusually long red light. 


I spontaneously realized that I had been spending the majority of my waking hours stressing about the wrong thing. Instead of expending mental anguish over the fear of failling, a more fulfilling and productive use of my mental anguish should be spent worrying about NOT succeeding. After all, as all those commercials keep reminding us, life is really short, YOLO and all that crap.

Statistically, I don't have that many productive years left. Before I know it, I will be riddled with cancer, Alzheimer's, or terminal I-don't-give-a-crap syndrome, and be (as Axel Rose so elegantly put it) knock knock knocking on heavens door.

When I worry about failing, to "stay safe" I tend to abort any attempt to do somet…

10 ways to have fun again

Disclaimer: none of these steps are tried and/or true. These 10 points are a result of a brainstorming session in a desparate attempt to inject more fun into my life. 

Backstory, I am feeling like an old fat whale who washed up on the beach. With a little effort said whale could get herself back into the sea, but instead thinks, 

"Meh, that's seems hard and uncomfortable. I'll just lie here and hope things work out." 
Sad. Here is advice for myself from myself to get my flabby body off the soul and life-sucking beach and back into the adventurous, fun, unpredictable sea. Hopefully it helps me and other people suffering from what I am hereby labeling: "apathetic beached whale syndrome."

Dear me: 

What's fun to you may have changed because you're so old now compared to when you were younger.  Maybe fun at your age means power walking in the mall, yelling at neighborhood kids running on your lawn, reading the obituaries. Open your mind to what "fun&quo…

Unsolicited Advice

Unsolicited Advice:Why do we hate to receive it? Why do we love to give it?


"Hello, my name is Jill and I am an advice monster. I was that jerk you used to confide in who would immediately interrupt and tell you how to fix  your problems."
For pretty much my whole life I genuinely believed that I gave unsolicited advice out of the most selfless and altruistic intentions. I thought I was giving said advice because I cared about people and wanted to help. Because after all, I was a good person, dammit. 

But was I really?

A couple of months back, I was sharing a very personal and painful struggle I was (and am still) having with a good buddy of mine.  I let myself be vulnerable and opened up to her about how much I hate that I can't watch "The Big Bang Theory"on Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime. She, like I always did to others, started immediately giving me advice. She said things like: 
"You should watch it on television---you  still have that antenna in your gara…

Deal with it. Assholes will always trump the virtuous

Yertle the Turtle

When I was younger, my favorite book was Yertle the Turtle by Dr. Seuss. I read it hundreds of times. Growing up, we had no cable, no internet, and a single TV with only 3 watchable channels, so my curricular activity options were limited, and no matter how deep and controversial the topics, conversations with my stuffed animals could only hold my interest for so long.

If you've never read the book, here's the gist.
Yertle is the self-proclaimed king of a bale of turtles, whose throne is a rock in the middle of a small pond. One day he decides his throne is too low for such an intelligent and powerful turtle as he. So he orders the rest of the turtles to climb on each others backs to form a stack on top of the rock. Yertle then perches himself at the top of his new impressive turtle-throne.  Still not satisfied, Yertle orders turtles from all the other ponds in the valley to continue building the stack up, up, and up, until the only thing above Yertle is the mo…