Crowmageddon Update -- The Government is Aware and Taking Action!
According to the state DWR game bird coordinator: "...crows are damaging fruit, corn and grain crops...Crows also raid nests and steal eggs from other birds. And crows carry avian cholera and other diseases that affect birds. And they damage trees and cause lots of other disturbances in urban areas... So... (and I'm paraphrasing here) git your guns---we gonna have oursefs a gol durn crow hunt this year! Yee haw!"
So instead of starting with government-subsidized scarecrows that look like Joe Biden, we're going straight to murder. Viva America!
A few members of PETA were upset and proposed that to make it fair, we also arm the crows. But a spokesperson from Browning said making tiny guns just for crows wouldn't be cost effective, seeing as crows don't have any money to pay for them.
Let's just hope it's not too late. And let's all hope crow tastes good, because we're going to be eating a lot of it.