What's the Deal with all the Crows?

I used to think crows were anti-social loners like mountain lions and the Una-bomber, but lately, I've noticed huge black flocks circling the sky and covering the fields. When I see a single crow, all by her lonesome, I say hey Mrs. Crow, good to see ya. But when I see a whole bunch of crows all together I shout, Crowmageddon! Or sometimes Crowpocalypse! Hundreds of crows gathering can only mean one thing---they are plotting our demise. In the beginning, it will start with small annoyances like intermittent loud squawking while we try to talk on our cell phones.  But soon will escalate into them devouring and ruining our lives by eating all the fourth of July corn on the cob and causing heaps of bad luck.

We need to get rid of these varmints before it's too late. I went to Walmart and asked the greeter if they carried crow repellent---he said they didn't so I left. Actually, now I think of it, I may have accidentally asked for crow retardant. I'll have to go back and ask again.

I noticed the other day that if I go outside and stand near them they fly away. If I could just stand outside all day everyday I could get a handle on the crow problem. But I have things I gotta do. Plus, standing is hard. It would be so great if someone would invent a sort of non-living person that could stand out in the field indefinitely and scare the crows away.  But like that will ever happen. I may as well ask for someone to invent a table with high spots for your beverages so you can drink through a straw without having to pick the glass up or bend your neck down.

All the little black blobs in this photo are actual crows I saw. None of them were fabricated.


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