Why I Like Easter
It's the candy. I like it for the candy. Easter candy is better than other candy. It's better than grandma candy, it's better than piñata candy--- it's even better than Christmas candy.
And yes, even though the candy makers have taken the Easter candy that used to only be for Easter---like peanut butter eggs, peeps, and jelly beans---and morphed all of it into freaky doppelgängers for all the other holidays and non-Easter occasions ( think peanut butter Christmas trees, Halloween bat peeps, and Jelly Belly's)--- the Easter candy is still far superior. It looks better, it tastes better. It's why Easter was invented.
Let me remind you how Easter came to be. Way back when, before clocks and the Internet, there lived an evil rabbit. All winter long he stole, or some would say borrowed, eggs from the local chickens and ducks. By Spring, he had a vast arsenal of putrid, rotten eggs. On a random Sunday the townsfolk would awake to find their town covered in rotten eggs and rabbit poop. It took weeks to get the smell out. The rabbit would attack the town every year. It gave his life purpose.
One year, as the rabbit hopped its way into town to wreak his havoc, he spotted a big juicy carrot in the middle of the trail. He set down his basket of rotten eggs and started gobbling up the carrot. It was the tastiest carrot he'd ever eaten. He picked up the basket and resumed his evil deed. He scattered the eggs and did his business everywhere. He hopped home laughing evilly.
When the townsfolk woke up, instead of finding their town covered in icky filth, it was covered in colorful delicious chocolate filled eggs and tiny sweet candy pellets. Unbeknownst to the evil rabbit, the carrot he ate the night before wasn't just your average garden variety carrot. The beloved town witch cast a spell on the carrot. Once eaten, it turned rabbit poop into jelly beans and the rotten eggs the rabbit touched into chocolate. So year after glorious year the evil rabbit "attacked" the town and never ever realized it was the town's third most popular holiday.
So there you have it. It's the candy people. It's all about turning something horrible into something delicious. It's about previously in-edible things becoming edible. It's about filling things with caramel, chocolate and sugar. It's about candy-coating things you never knew could be candy coated. Happy Easter.