Why Is It Cool To Go Off Sugar?

I was at juggling class the other day, and one of my fellow students announced that she'd been "off sugar" for three months straight. Another student responded and bragged that one time (not now) that she'd been off it for a year. I felt left out and really wanted them to like me so quickly said that I'd been off meth for almost two weeks!
I think there's been some major misunderstandings. Sugar is not a villain. Sugar is our friend. 

I can vindicate sugar in three simple, yet poignant, arguments:
1. If sugar is so bad, then why do we use it as a term of endearment? The nice cashier at World Taco never says to me: "Thanks lean protein", or "What's up rutabaga?" She says: "Hey sugar" or "What's up sweetie?"
2. When people want to make an offer better, they say they want to "sweeten the deal" not "I want to add low-glycemic index carbohydrates to the deal." 
3. And my final argument, if it's so bad then why is it so delicious? 

So to the two people in my class whose names I've forgotten and all other sugar haters like them, I've officially proved that sugar is good. Not eating it is nothing to brag about. Enjoy it without guilt.


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