How Wolverine 2 Could Have Been Better

Hugh Jackman deserved to be in a better version of a Wolverine sequel than "The Wolverine." For Mr. Jackman's sake, I propose a re-make with the following change. (Spoiler Alert - don't read if you haven't seen the movie yet)

The current movie takes itself way too seriously. IMHO, anytime you tell a story about a mutant immortal with retractable metal claws who calls himself "Wolverine" it must be done a little-bit tongue in cheek---or it just seems ridiculous. That's why the Wolverine character worked so well when we met him in the first X-Men movie. He wasn't just scary, brooding and sexy, he was funny too! Wolverine needs to lighten up a bit---it's like watching The Hulk---if The Hulk never morphed back into Bruce Banner---it gets boring after awhile.  Here's some examples of possible scenes they could add to the re-make:
  • At the beginning instead of having Wolverine off in the woods with nobody but a bear, have him trying (unsuccessfully of course) to fit into regular society. Imagine Mr. Jackman in a form-fitting golf shirt and khaki short-shorts selling computers at Best Buy---he's helping an annoying, arrogant, nerdy guy who can't make a decision. Wolverine inevitably loses his patience and ends up getting fired by his teenage boss for protracting (I just learned this word) his claws and destroying a bunch of computers and big screen TVs. And maybe his shirt gets ripped off in the process. It could be a magical combination of funny and sad.
  • When he first comes out after his Japanese hair cut, have someone say, "Looks like they missed a couple spots." And then gesture to his Wolverine hair wings.
  •  Instead of always dreaming of Jean next to him in bed, one time have him roll over expecting to see Jean, but discovering Scott Summers aka Cyclops, Jean's boyfriend, with his shirt off. After the shock wears off, have them share in a bit of witty and awkward jealous male banter, and then have them compliment each other on their abs ("Nice abs dude.")
  • When he's hiding out with the Japanese heiress, after they get caught in a rainstorm and get their clothes soaked, the only dry shirt available for him to wear is a pink one of hers with Hello Kitty on it. After he walks out in the shirt, she giggles like an anime cartoon character.
  • When Wolverine is offered sushi in Japan he says: "Raw fish? What am I, some sort of animal?"
  • In the scene after the credits, after one of the guys issues this warning: "They're making a weapon to get rid of our kind..." Wolverine says, "uh, I think I already saw that movie."
How about it Hollywood? You're all about the remakes. If not for me, then do it for Hugh Jackman.


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