Gymnast Glitter Q&A

The USA 2012 Olympic women's gymnastic team are happy as clams after winning the team gold. Gabby Douglas credits their use of excessive glitter as the key factor in their victory.
Glitter Gymnastics

I recently sat down with Olympic Gold medal winner Gabby Douglas to discuss the 2012 Olympic Gymnasts excessive use of glitter, or EUG for short.

Q: How do you know when you have enough glitter in your hair?
A: When the glitter bottle is empty.

Q: Do you ever feel guilty about all the glitterbugs that are killed each year to make glitter?
A: I don't think that's where glitter comes from.

Q: What do you say to the accusations that gymnasts use performance-enhancing hair glitter
A: They can't prove it. Plus it's not against the rules.

Q: Who cleans up all the glitter left on the gym floor at the end of the night?
A: All the girls who didn't win medals.

Q: Why don't male gymnasts use hair glitter?
A: They do. It's camo-colored so you can't see it.

Q: Why do the male gymnasts shave their legs?
A: I don't know.

Q: How do you like your gold medal?
A: I wish it was made of glitter.
Gabby Douglas: "I wish it was made of glitter."
Q: What's your opinion on Russian Gymnast, Aliya Mustafina's EUG?
Aliya Mustafina EUG
A: Ludicrous. Her approach to glitter is undisciplined, uncreative, and self-serving. Her EUG on the uneven bars yesterday did not deserve a gold medal.

Q: I didn't realize that glitter was factored into the scoring.
A: Duh


Q: Do you think EUG should be its own Olympic event?
A: It's already scheduled as an exhibition event for 2016.


Q: Do you still think glitter cancer is the Cadillac of all cancers?
A: Of course. Don't you?

After that, Gabby graciously excused herself to re-glitter her hair.

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