Flush Your Bum Buffers, Please

I would like to politely ask all the good women out there to take a moment in the public restrooms of the world and ensure that you include the bum buffers, keister covers, derriere defenders, a** gaskets, heiny helpers, fanny flushers, or whatever you call those paper toilet seat thingies, when you flush the toilet. It's disturbing to walk into a stall and see a used bum buffer sitting there in the shape of some stranger's bottom. I realize many people use public toilets, but every time I see that paper all crumpled and torn, it's like it's speaking to me---moaning about all the horrors it endured. It's too graphic. It scares me. So please, please, flush them. I don't care how you do it, scoot it in with your foot, your elbow, or a special stick designed specifically for stuffing down keister covers (*ding*, potential business idea---Keister Cover Stuffers, Inc.!?!), please just do it. If not for me, then for the children. If not for the children, then do it for you. Because remember, the person you might save from seeing the hanging carcass of a used heiny helper, might just be yourself.

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