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Showing posts from November 21, 2010

Tips for a Healthy Thanksgiving Dinner

1. Make sure each bite of food is smaller than a cigarette box. When people choke on food, the offending food is typically the same size as a box of cigarettes or larger. (At least that's what someone told me once when I was stocking cigarettes at the convenience store I worked at back in the day.)
2. Don't mix your food together, like adding vegetables to your mashed potatoes, or combining the stuffing with your turkey and cranberry sauce, because ew, gross.
3. After you're finally finished gorging yourself, make sure nobody kicks you repeatedly in the stomach. Remember what happened to the fat guy in that creepy movie Seven?
4. Don't shovel any snow on Thanksgiving. Lots of folks die from heart attacks when they shovel.
5. Make sure there is enough gravy for everyone. Seriously people. One year I was in charge of the feast and ran out of gravy. It was a bloodbath.
6. Don't tell your mother/mother-in-law/grandmother/aunt that the turkey is a little dry. Even if i…

Breadstick Secret Herb

While it's hard to make a bad bread stick, it's equally hard to make a fantastic bread stick. Most bread sticks are good, but not great. We've all been to some restaurant that serves amazing bread sticks and eat too many and wish we knew their secret. Well, I've found it; at least part of it. The secret bread stick herb of 2010 is---drum roll please---dill. What!?! Dill you say? Isn't dill just for pickles you ask? Well not any more!

After you brush your sticks with butter, try sprinkling a little bit of dill on them. Don't worry, the bread sticks won't taste pickle-y. The dill adds a slight sweetness and tang, but doesn't taste dill-ish when combined with the butter and salt on your bread sticks.

There, the secret is out. Enjoy!