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My Final Swimsuit Decision Leads to Yet Another Needed Decision

Since we're heading out for a vacation at a beach near San Diego in a few weeks, I decided to go with the tankini below. Yep, that's me in the picture. (Ha, just kidding)

I ordered it online from I'm thrilled with the top. It fits great, it covers up what I want it to, and it's so cute! Here's the not so good part. I've been wearing board shorts with my swimming suits for years, actually it's been decades, to hide Lola and Lolita (my--uh hem--saddlebags--gasp--yes, I said it, I have saddlebags.) So as I was ordering the top, I had a very cute matching pair of board shorts in my cart. Then for some reason before I finalized the purchase, had an insane idea and removed them and added the hot shorts pictured below. Wha?! you ask?
Here's the conversation I had with myself:

Me: I have three weeks until the trip. If I lost 5 pounds a week, then those hot shorts might actually look luke warm on me!
Myself: Are you crazy? When has that ever worked?
Me: If I buy them then I will be so inspired it will have to work. I'm doing it! Woo hoo!
Myself: **sigh**

The suit arrived a couple of days ago, and I put on the hot shorts thinking they wouldn't look too bad. I assumed that all I would need was a few weeks of fine tuning for all to be well. Ah, but that was not the case. What I thought would take a little fine tuning, will in reality require much, much more---like maybe some high-powered liposuction followed by a few rounds of sandblasting.

So now I'm depressed. I'm fighting the urge to eat an entire cake, buy a mu mu and just give up. On the other hand my "me" is again telling "myself" that I should just keep trying to lose a few pounds then all will be well. Unfortunately, my "myself" isn't buying it. Myself wants to return the not-so-hot shorts for the board shorts. What to do? Maybe like I do with all my major life-changing decisions, I'll go flip a coin.

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