Skip to main content

Hey Cop Dog I Want My Money Back

**Spoiler Alert! The following contains major spoilers for the movie Cop Dog.**

We rented the movie "Cop Dog" yesterday, and let me warn you, that movie was falsely advertised. The movie poster has a picture of a cute, silly, happy looking dog holding a police badge up to the camera. So naturally, we assumed it would be a funny slapstick comedy for kids about a dog solving crimes, directing traffic and writing tickets. Not so. The opening scene is in a graveyard. The Cop Dog’s cop partner was killed and his family was trying to come to terms with his death. After the first 10 minutes, I assured my kids that it would start getting super funny at any minute. “Get ready, because as soon as all this death stuff is over, this show’s going to get hilarious!"

Well, I was wrong, it actually got sadder (is sadder even a word?). At that point, I couldn't take it anymore, so I assured the kids again that it would get better and then went into the kitchen to drown my sorrows in some cereal. After a bowl of Lucky Charms and a bowl of Frosted Flakes, I felt much better and I went back to the show to watch the hilarity ensue. I sat down and had the following conversation with the family.

Me: Is it funny yet?

Family: No. Cop Dog just died.

Me: What!?! Oh he did not.

Family: No really, he did.

Me: No. No way. He’s probably just pretending. He’ll turn out to be alive. Trust me guys.

Family: No, he was hit by a car and died.

Me: No he didn’t. Stop saying that. They wouldn't kill Cop Dog, he's the main character!

Husband: (basically yelling, sort of irritated with me) He was hit by a car and they buried him! He’s dead!

Me: You’re wrong.

Husband: (definitely yelling now, definitely irritated) “THEY BURIED HIM. COP DOG IS DEAD! THEY BURIED HIM!!! B-U-R-I-E-D.”

Me: (finally accepting it) Really? The movie’s called Cop Dog. Why in the world did they kill Cop Dog? They really should have warned us about that on the movie cover.

Son: Yeah, they should have put on the back “He gets dead in it.”

Me: Exactly. And they should have made the picture of cop dog all sad looking on the front.

If people want to make sad movies, fine, go nuts, but I really think they should make it obvious that you’re in for a sad movie before you watch it. I want a refund from the Cop Dog people. I want my Redbox $1.00 back.

Popular posts from this blog

Why Do We Take Sports So Seriously?

I wouldn't have ever been picked to be “Sporty Spice.” I'd probably get picked as the "Likes Stuffed Animals Too Much Spice." Point being, I wasn't much of a sports player or sports fan growing up. I spent most of my days cataloging my stuffed animals' life experiences in a notebook and stirring up self-directed trouble in the neighborhood.
In an ironic twist, in addition to their love of stuffed animals (thanks to me), my boys love sports. Four years ago I'd never heard of "Comp” Sports. Now, most of my time is spent practicing, playing, or talking about them---oh and let’s not forget paying for them.



15 years ago if someone told me I’d be a “baseball mom” who spent every weekend and weekday shuffling her kids to practices and games, I’d call them bat-crap crazy. (*Sigh* the things we’ll do for our kids…am I right?) 
Since my kids started playing sports, I’ve seen and heard a lot of things that made me question the inherent goodness of the average…

Rock, Paper, Scissors, Pencil

Okay, so I didn't succeed in stopping the Kaysville cannon this year. But next year will be different. Next year, I'm actually going to try. I'll keep you posted.

On to a different subject, which is somewhat related to the previous topic since both involve me improving the world. I'm looking to renew my childhood dream of adding pencil to the rock, paper, scissors game. I added it many, many years ago, and was able to successfully convert my next-door neighbor, so I'm pretty sure now that I'm all grown up and wiser and what not, that I'll have no problem convincing the rest of you to add it.

Instead of saying "Rock, Paper, Scissors" you will say "Rock, Paper, Scissors, Pencil." Okay, see now, it's a subtle but significant difference. There are four elements instead of three. It might seem a bit tricky at first, but you'll get the hang of it, and then you will never want to go back to the original version.

The rules are as follow…

How Much Should You Tip A Balloon Artist?

When did balloon animals get so complex? Check out the detail on these works of art:




I used to tip the balloon guy a dollar per balloon animal and felt like that was fair. Today with all the detail work the guy put in I felt $1.00 wasn't enough, so I upped it to $2.00. Now I'm wondering if that was too low. Also, when I asked where he learned his craft, he answered, "Jail." I LOLd. Would that warrant a higher tip? Then on the ride home my kids insisted that was his only job, and that made me sad.