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The Re-Introduction of Wild Cows

I was listening to a radio program about the endangerment of wild tigers the other day and it got me thinking about the animals that don't have any wild counterpart, like the cow. Why isn't anybody sad that there aren't any wild cows running around? Surely cows were wild at one time.

Aren't cows important? Aren't they just as deserving as tigers to live wild and free? What makes tigers so special? If I were in prison and was forced to choose between a cow or a tiger for a cellmate, I'd pick the cow every time. After all, you can't milk a tiger. Well, maybe you could, but I just don't see that happening. Plus, the cow wouldn't eat me. Well, maybe it would, but I don't really see that happening either.

Let's take a moment and compare cows and tigers. Cows give us milk, which begets all those tasty snacks like cheese, yogurt, and ice cream---from cows we get leather, gelatin (or is that from horses, I forget), burgers, steak, blah, blah, blah the list goes on and on and on. Okay, so what do tigers do? Let see, they look cool and they kill stuff. Looks to me like the cows win easily.

So it's time we paid the cows back for all they do for us. Let the wild tigers die off and let's set the cows free. We can place a few of them in the woods, or maybe the desert or the prairie, or wherever they were originally---someone else can figure out the details. Just imagine how delighted you'll be when you're hiking along and happen upon a group of beautiful, majestic, wild cows. Breathtaking.

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