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Ten Important New Laws I Want Passed for 2010

1. All TV shows and movies will be forbidden to use time travel. Time travel situations create too many loop holes, anomalies, and cop-outs, and generally just tick me off.

2. All TV shows that advertise themselves as comedies will be forbidden to add sad/overly-sentimental segments to their shows. The only reason I should ever cry during a comedy is if I'm laughing too hard. I'm tired of turning off Scrubs five minutes before it ends.

3. Advertisements will not be allowed in shows that people pay for, like movies and cable TV. I've already paid $8.50 to watch your lame show, I shouldn't have to sit through 20 minutes of commercials.

4. No movie will be over two hours long. I don't care how good it is, after two hours, you've lost me. I'm from America and have a short attention span.

5. Movie theaters will be required to maintain an ambient temperature of at least 71 degrees. If this is not possible, then the theater must offer complimentary snuggies.

6. Television cannot refer to any of its programs as movies. I don't care if it's a Night Rider episode that lasts 2 hours. If it's on TV, it's a TV show, not a movie. To say otherwise just confuses me.

7. Free episodes for everyone of "Flight of the Conchords."

8. The complete removal of all episodes, current and syndicated, of Two and a Half Men. (I can't believe people watch that crap.)

9. Someone must invent a way to eliminate unwanted channels on my TV. Why should I have to scan through seventeen Spanish channels and the channel whose audio is from a different channel just to get to the channels I like?

10. TBA

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