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Showing posts from January, 2010

Ten Important New Laws I Want Passed for 2010

1. All TV shows and movies will be forbidden to use time travel. Time travel situations create too many loop holes, anomalies, and cop-outs, and generally just tick me off.

2. All TV shows that advertise themselves as comedies will be forbidden to add sad/overly-sentimental segments to their shows. The only reason I should ever cry during a comedy is if I'm laughing too hard. I'm tired of turning off Scrubs five minutes before it ends.

3. Advertisements will not be allowed in shows that people pay for, like movies and cable TV. I've already paid $8.50 to watch your lame show, I shouldn't have to sit through 20 minutes of commercials.

4. No movie will be over two hours long. I don't care how good it is, after two hours, you've lost me. I'm from America and have a short attention span.

5. Movie theaters will be required to maintain an ambient temperature of at least 71 degrees. If this is not possible, then the theater must offer complimentary snuggies.

6. T…

I guess it's time to get out of holiday mode

After two glorious weeks of staying up late, sleeping in until whenever, laying around all day in our jammies watching movies, playing video games and eating junk food, we can't seem to stop! We're well into January, and we're still living like it's December 27th.

We've been extremely lazy, and been in no mood to do much of anything. Which is a problem because the laundry really needs doing. And as we all know, laundry is the worst! Imagine being buried in a mountain of sand and having only a pair of chopsticks to dig yourself out. No matter how much effort you expend digging, that mountain isn't going anywhere. That's what laundry feels like. So yesterday, employing my 2010 theme, I told the kids I would pay them to do the laundry. Unfortunately, we couldn't agree on a price---they wanted $10,000. They wouldn't even negotiate. If they did it every week for the rest of my life, then I would consider $10,000 a bargain---but for one time---uh, no.

Y…

2010 - Year of ?

2010 feels like it's going to be a good year. I usually start a new year off with a list of unrealistic resolutions that I never accomplish. Well, I shouldn't say never---after all, not only did I buy one purse last year, but I bought two! Be that as it may, I didn't even come close to achieving world peace. So this year I've decided to set just one realistic goal. That goal will serve as the underlying theme for the entire 2010 year of my life.

I've come up with the following three potential 2010 themes:

1. "2010 - Let my money do the work"
2. "2010 - Stop doing things I hate"
3. "2010 - Never lose my car in the parking lot"

I'm really leaning towards the first one. I'm sick of doing all the work. I think it's high time my money does its share.

I'm equally sick of doing things I hate. My one concern is that if I make #2 my 2010 theme then all that will be left for me to do is to sit on the couch in my jammies watching sit…