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Showing posts from April 26, 2009

How to Make the Zoo More Stimulating and Stimulate the Economy at the Same Time

Have you been to the zoo lately? Kind of boring huh? I recently went to the zoo with my son's Kindergarten class and can I just say, yawn. The most exciting thing, outside of the bus ride and lunch, was watching a zebra relieve himself. It would be much more exciting if the animals actually moved around and did things. Of course I don't think there's any PETA-acceptable way to make them do this for eight hours a day, seven days a week. The only animal we could humanely expect to entertain us for that long is a human. Thus leading to my suggestion. We get rid of all the lazy, do-nothing animals, and replace them with people in well-made animal costumes. The animals, or what we'd call "humanils," would be employees. They would be hired and paid just like any other job. Thus creating more jobs for people, thus stimulating the economy. They would be part time, so the zoo wouldn't have to take care of their medical needs. They would bring their own food and ta…

Maybe I'm Part of the Problem

You've heard it so many times it's become a cliche, boys love potty humor. I'm constantly asking my kids to stop with all the potty talk and my pleas generally go unheeded, but now I think I know why. In fact, I think a lot of it is probably my own fault.

They say that in the land of the blind, the one eye man is king. Well, likewise, I'm finding that in my house, where the funniest thing is to add the words "fart" "toot" or "burp" to the end of a sentence, I can be king. And all it takes, is some well-timed, basic, elementary fart jokes. No where else would this be the case. It's hard to resist the easy laughs. Now before you rush to judge me, consider the following example. Yesterday, Ryder was super excited and proud to tell us that he had just completed the following: he jumped from the chair, to the couch, then to the floor, and then, for the big finish, he tooted. I mean really, if they're going to set me up like that, how c…