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Showing posts from January 4, 2009

Men are Awesome

I would like to say a few words in honor of men. Sometimes we take men for granted. So can I just say, that you men out there, you're all right. Why? Two reasons: shoveling and two-stroke engines.

Let's start with shoveling. Is there anything sexier than a man with a shovel? I mean seriously, have you ever tried shoveling? It's really hard. I mean bordering on impossibly hard. Granted, as we all know I'm a wimp, but still, shoveling ain't easy. Enter the man. Give a man a shovel and he can change the world. Men can dig up dirt, shovel snow, or dig a trench in a matter of minutes. I've seen it a million times, but I still stand in wonder whenever I watch a man work a shovel. Oooo I just got the chills picturing it.

Next, the two-stroke engine. I've heard about the fabled two-stroke engine my whole life (and smelled it---mmmmm, nothing quite like that smell), but never even gave it a second thought until recently. Apparently, to make a two-stroke engine work (l…

This year I resolve to...uh, what was the question?

I haven't kept a single New Year's resolution. Ever. Not one. I keep making them year after year because I like to. For the short moment when I think of a resolution, write it down, and then walk away, I feel all hopeful and giddy like I'm finally going to change all my bad habits once and for all. I love that moment. I just love it. Even if it's a lie, even if it's not going to last, it still feels good. It's like getting an award without having to do anything. So it would be like winning an Oscar for doing nothing, and then having them take it away five minutes later, but around the fourth minute, you forget all about it in the first place, so after it was gone, you weren't really sad anyway. It's like that. It's an addictive cheap thrill. That's why I get so excited to write down all my new goals for the year...on account of that fact that I'm really into addictive cheap thrills.

So here they are for 2008!
Make crumpets.Clean off the top of…