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Showing posts from December, 2009

Turns out I'm Kind of a Holiday Shopping Jerk

All this time I thought it was only other people. Turns out I am one of those customers retailers loathe. I was at Walmart the other day picking up my site-to-store order. When the clerk brought out only half my order I was a alarmed. I showed her my entire order list and insisted that the main three items were missing. She was completely calm (too calm for my taste) when after about 10 minutes of looking around she just shrugged her shoulders and said that was all there was. (This is where I start turning into a jerk) "I know I had three more items, I'm not leaving without them!" I insisted. She left for about 10 more minutes apparently to track down someone who could help. During this wait I was grumbling under my breath, complaining to all the other customers who were waiting because of me, making faces and thinking many unkind thoughts.

So after at least thirty minutes, my eyes sore from all my eye-rolling, my disturbingly calm clerk pulled several other clerks off …

It's Easy to be Bad

Christmas is almost here and my six year old is apparently looking for excuses to justify his behavior this past year.

Yesterday he said to me, "Mom, It's easy to be bad all year."
"What?" I asked.
"I said it's easy to be bad all year. It's hard to be good."

I agree with him. It is a lot easier to be bad. There probably isn't anyone who is good all year. And if there is one kid who's good all year, I'll bet he's really dull and not very interesting. So I'm not sure that we'd really even want our kids to be completely good all year long. Maybe instead of Santa asking kids if they've been good this year, he should ask them if the bad things they've done this year haven't been too bad and if they at least did a few good things. While not quite as catchy a phrase, I think it's at least attainable.

My New Time Saving Tip

Switch to really long straws. This will minimize the time involved in bending forward to drink cold beverages. As an added bonus, it will reduce neck strain.

Best Holiday Ever!

We celebrated St. Lucia day yesterday. It was a huge success. In fact, we are currently in family negotiations over whether we'll replace Christmas with it. Christmas is so overrated.

We sat around in our pajamas most of the day, ate buttery, sweet cinnamon bread, and decorated the Christmas Tree. For the grand finale, we had a sock war.

The sock war did cause a few minor injuries, but once we gave our 4 year old a pair of safety glasses to wear during the battle, the tears stopped and it was non-stop fun from then on out.

Next year we're thinking of adding a jousting segment and getting rid of the Christmas tree decorating, because that was kind of boring.

More on the Wussifying of Our Country

I'm pretty sure there's a conspiracy to wussify America. Why? Two words: Indoor Recess. Apparently, if it's cold, snowy or rainy, the school my son attends holds recess inside the building.

Back in the day the word indoor was never associated with the word recess. We went outside three times a day and never complained. It didn't matter if the thermometer was 30 degrees below or there was a sideways blowing blizzard, we bundled up and went out there. Sure it was cold, sure we got wet, but we bucked up and loved every minute of it!

But now, for some reason the schools can't bare the thought of the children going outside to enjoy a snowstorm or play in the rain, thus turning them all into wussies. Before long, I imagine my kid won't want to do anything that may cause discomfort. I can hear the converstation now:

Me: Son, let's go outside and build a snowman.

Him: No way mom, I only go outside if the temperature is between 70-76 degrees and there is zero perci…

My Long Awaited P90x Review

Yep, I did it. I completed the P90x 90 day exercise program. I actually finished on Thanksgiving weekend, but was waiting a couple of weeks to post this, hoping that a few weeks of down time would make all the difference.

Did it Work?
So first I'll answer the question you're all wondering ---did it work?--- and save the boring details for later. "Did it Work?" is such a clear, concise and simple question, and I really wish I could give an equally clear, concise and simple answer, but I can't. The exercise program worked, sort of. So it definitely made my muscles bigger and harder (sorry, I know that sounds dirty). Unfortunately, those awesome muscles are still nestled under a soft squishy layer of fat. I did not lose any weight while on the program. But, I didn't gain any either, so I guess that's something seeing as I went through two major holidays and began my inevitable holiday over-eating---mmmmmmmmm holiday overeating.

I was going to post my before an…

Santa, Jesus, and Heavenly Father

Here's a conversation I had with my six year old yesterday:

Son: Hey Mom--Santa, Jesus and Heavenly Father rock!

Me: What?

Son: I said, Santa, Jesus and Heavenly Father rock!

Me: Why do you say that?

Son: Because I want lots of presents for Christmas!

Me: **Heavy sigh**

I had no idea how to respond. That comment, along with a few others he's made, shows me that he sees God and Santa as basically the same type of being. Which on the one hand is kind of funny, but on the other hand, is a bit disturbing. I guess to a kid, they must seem very similar: You can't see either of them, except for in pictures and movies. They both perform things that are impossible for us mortals. They both do nice things for people, and you can ask both of them for things you want and if you're good, you might get some of them.

I can't tell him Santa isn't real, because that would destroy the magic of Christmas for him. He'll find out the truth eventually, and when he does, he will inevi…

St. Lucia Day is Coming!

Last year we celebrated St. Lucia Day for the first time. We celebrated by buying a jar of cardamon for $13.00 at Albertson's and adding a teaspoon of that cardamon to some homemade St. Lucia buns and tasting them and realizing that they weren't very good (because cardamom is nasty) and then throwing the rest away. I think this year's celebration is going to be even better!

I figure all the other holidays we celebrate have morphed into something quite different than the original event the holiday was based on, so why not morph St. Lucia Day into something great. Mayhaps even the best holiday ever!

To make it a great holiday for me, the following will be required :
1. Good Food.
2. Friends and/or Family (but not too many).
3. Not having to buy anyone presents or do too much prep or post work.
4. Participation in some sort of unique activity.

Okay, so the food I have covered. We'll be eating dinner with St. Lucia bread, which will not contain any cardamom or cardamom-l…

Chocolate Babka May Be the End of the Baking Marathon

Martha Stewart's Babka.
This is what it was suppose to look like. I even used the same recipe.
My Killer Babka.
The difference in the photos makes me chuckle.
Mine kind of looks like a chimpanzee made it.

I've always taken pride in my ability to stomach any dessert, no matter how decadent or rich. Actually, it's one of my few talents. Well, today I met my match. Today I made Chocolate Babka, and can I just say, I think it's done me in. After three bites I literally had to lay down on the couch. It is one of, if not the, richest desserts I've ever eaten. Seriously. I'm not kidding. I want to throw up. Chocolate Babka is a Jewish dessert that consists of sweet bread swirled all over in the middle with cinnamon and chocolate. Supposedly it's real big in New York. I've always wanted to try one ever since that one episode of Seinfeld. I have yet to see one in a bakery in Utah, so I've never tried one, and thus have nothing to compare to the loaf of deat…

Pound Cake

I decided to move forward with the baking marathon. I had to take a brief hiatus last week to make a few Thanksgiving desserts (see picture below), which consisted of a white chocolate cheesecake, two pumpkin pies and some buckeye balls. What's up with the holes and circles in the pies?
Anyway, I started with the easiest things first, because that's my way. If I start with all the hard things first then I might get discouraged too soon and give up. Plus, if I did all the hard things and then something happened like I died or lost my memory and didn't have a chance to enjoy the easy things then I would be mad.

So far I've made the following:

The apple pandowdy. --Apple pie-type filling on the bottom, topped with what was essentially a pie crust. Yes, it was very dowdy looking.
The crumb cake.--Dense yellow cake topped with cinnamon, sugar, and pecan streusal. Makes a delicious breakfast! (Unless you happen to be a 4 or 6 year old boy.)

The pound cake. --Lovely crumb, f…