Sick Rats, Rifles and Husbands

My husband is a genius. He's wanted a .22 rifle for a long, long time now, but wasn't able to come up with a justification for buying one---until yesterday. Yesterday, he told me there was a sick rat in the backyard. He said it was lying on the lawn breathing heavily. It didn't move when he walked up to it, so he was sure it must be dying.

Here's how our conversation went:

Me: So did you kill it!? Tell me you killed it! You better have killed it. Did you kill it?
Him: Well, no. I was going to, but couldn't think of a good way.
Me: How about a shovel?
Him: Too messy.
Me: What do you mean too messy?

Then I imagined myself trying to kill a poor defenseless rat with a shovel, and I have to admit, every scenario I pictured was awfully brutal and messy. I couldn't blame him for not using a shovel.

Me: Well, we can't have sick rats running around our house. What are we going to do?
Him: I would have no problem shooting it with a .22 rifle.
Me: But we don't have a .22 rifle.
Him: Right. That's why we need one.

And therein lies his genius. How could I deny him a rifle now? Who knows how long we have before bubonic plague-carrying rats are lying all over the yard. What kind of awful person would deny her husband a rifle to protect his family from these raving wild animals? Pure genius...


Cherice said…
Good one! Ty has done about the same thing.....guns in the house because we now live in AZ with scorpions and rattlesnakes. Where do guys get these thoughts?
Nuttcrackers said…
Genius. Pure Genius. Jeff bugged me forever until I JOKINGLY said fine, stop looking online all day, and just get one. And thats how it went. 3 days later I was informed we now owned a gun. When I asked him why he didn't ask me, his response was, "you told me to get one!"
Men are more clever than I thought...
Nuttcrackers said…
im sitting here with 4 other fire fighters who are giving you a big thumbs up on getting a gun. my captain says congrats on becoming a man. have fun, Jeff Nuttall

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