How to Make the Zoo More Stimulating and Stimulate the Economy at the Same Time
Have you been to the zoo lately? Kind of boring huh? I recently went to the zoo with my son's Kindergarten class and can I just say, yawn. The most exciting thing, outside of the bus ride and lunch, was watching a zebra relieve himself. It would be much more exciting if the animals actually moved around and did things. Of course I don't think there's any PETA-acceptable way to make them do this for eight hours a day, seven days a week. The only animal we could humanely expect to entertain us for that long is a human. Thus leading to my suggestion. We get rid of all the lazy, do-nothing animals, and replace them with people in well-made animal costumes. The animals, or what we'd call "humanils," would be employees. They would be hired and paid just like any other job. Thus creating more jobs for people, thus stimulating the economy. They would be part time, so the zoo wouldn't have to take care of their medical needs. They would bring their own food and take care of their own waste, so the zoo wouldn't need any vets or care-takers. I imagine their wages would be far less than all the expense required to house all those free-loading animals. Humans would be so much more entertaining too. They could walk around on command, fight, play, dance, swim...pretty much anything the crowd wanted. Kids would love it. I would buy a season pass for sure.