Skip to main content

What's Your Gender?

I always thought it was fairly obvious I was female until I donated blood last week. That's right I donated blood. Some lucky person who was in a transfusion-requiring accident last week had two cups of my special, secret formula of A+ blood. It must be good because the blood bank calls me constantly wanting more. (I shouldn't say anything, but just between us kids, the secret ingredients are Diet Pepsi and a surprisingly high level of carbohydrates).

So I was sitting behind the black curtains next to the phlebotomist, an older man with white hair, black-rimmed glasses and at least one missing tooth. He had to have been in his 70s. He was asking me all the routine questions, what's your name, your address, etc., when he asked me the oddest question. He asked me my gender. I stared at him for a moment, I thought it was a joke and waited for him to laugh. He just kept looking me in the eye, so I answered, "female." But for some reason when I answered, I posed it as a bit of a question, I was like, "uh, female?" I should have been all up in his grill and said something like, "female, dammit, isn't it obvious?" But I didn't. I said it as if I wasn't sure, like I was expecting him to correct me. It felt like a trick question and that the obvious answer would be wrong. It wasn't though. He didn't correct me, or smile, or even wink, he just stooped over and clicked "female" on on the computer questionnaire and moved on to the next question.

So as I was answering the rest of the questions, my mind kept wandering back to the whole gender question. I knew all the answers, so it's okay that I didn't pay attention. I was thinking to myself, either A, I'm not as feminine as I thought, or B, cross-dressers and trannies are getting much too good at impersonating women, forcing old phlebotomists to question everyone's gender.

Granted, I've never been the most girly of girls, but I at least have the basics covered. I wear makeup, I have long hair, I have a high voice...I have a small adam's apple...isn't that the dead give away?A few hours later, I was still pondering. I was thinking of ways I could girl it up. Maybe I would start wearing dresses. Maybe I would plaster on more makeup and wear six inch heels. Maybe make lace, ruffles and the color pink a more prominent part of my wardrobe. I pictured myself with all that extra girl-stuff, and honestly, it was over the top. I looked even more like a man dressed up as a woman.

I finally asked a friend of mine who also donated and was interviewed by the same guy if she was asked the same question. She said she was. Whew! That was a relief.

So here's a warning to everyone out there, be prepared to look your future interviewers in the eye and tell him/her your gender. And keep in mind, it's not because of you.

Popular posts from this blog

Why Do We Take Sports So Seriously?

I wouldn't have ever been picked to be “Sporty Spice.” I'd probably get picked as the "Likes Stuffed Animals Too Much Spice." Point being, I wasn't much of a sports player or sports fan growing up. I spent most of my days cataloging my stuffed animals' life experiences in a notebook and stirring up self-directed trouble in the neighborhood.
In an ironic twist, in addition to their love of stuffed animals (thanks to me), my boys love sports. Four years ago I'd never heard of "Comp” Sports. Now, most of my time is spent practicing, playing, or talking about them---oh and let’s not forget paying for them.

15 years ago if someone told me I’d be a “baseball mom” who spent every weekend and weekday shuffling her kids to practices and games, I’d call them bat-crap crazy. (*Sigh* the things we’ll do for our kids…am I right?) 
Since my kids started playing sports, I’ve seen and heard a lot of things that made me question the inherent goodness of the average…

Rock, Paper, Scissors, Pencil

Okay, so I didn't succeed in stopping the Kaysville cannon this year. But next year will be different. Next year, I'm actually going to try. I'll keep you posted.

On to a different subject, which is somewhat related to the previous topic since both involve me improving the world. I'm looking to renew my childhood dream of adding pencil to the rock, paper, scissors game. I added it many, many years ago, and was able to successfully convert my next-door neighbor, so I'm pretty sure now that I'm all grown up and wiser and what not, that I'll have no problem convincing the rest of you to add it.

Instead of saying "Rock, Paper, Scissors" you will say "Rock, Paper, Scissors, Pencil." Okay, see now, it's a subtle but significant difference. There are four elements instead of three. It might seem a bit tricky at first, but you'll get the hang of it, and then you will never want to go back to the original version.

The rules are as follow…

How Much Should You Tip A Balloon Artist?

When did balloon animals get so complex? Check out the detail on these works of art:

I used to tip the balloon guy a dollar per balloon animal and felt like that was fair. Today with all the detail work the guy put in I felt $1.00 wasn't enough, so I upped it to $2.00. Now I'm wondering if that was too low. Also, when I asked where he learned his craft, he answered, "Jail." I LOLd. Would that warrant a higher tip? Then on the ride home my kids insisted that was his only job, and that made me sad.