Skip to main content

Daylight Savings Can Kiss It

I hate daylight savings. Daylight savings is the dumbest invention since the Steam Buggy. It was impossible to sleep on Sunday night and even more impossible to wake up this morning. Even inebriated on a ridiculous amount of Diet Pepsi, I'm still ornery as all get out and looking for someone to blame.

Despite what all the crooked politicians tell you, messing with the clock twice a year isn't doing anybody any good. Please don't tell me it's saving energy; that's a myth. I woke up an hour earlier today and had to turn on all my lights, crank the space heater and fire up all the other appliances. So now instead of using all that energy an extra hour each night, I'm just using it an extra hour each morning.

Also, don't give me that milarky about how now with an extra hour of daylight you can work on your farm or play hide-and-seek outside an extra hour at night. Face it, you don't have a farm, and if you did, everyone knows farmers do their work in the morning. Now they have to do an hour of chores in the even darker, colder morning. And as for playing longer, do we really need the kids up an extra hour? We have a hard enough time getting our kids to bed at night. Now with it getting dark later, that makes it even more difficult.

I'm pretty sure Daylight Savings was invented by the Russians back in the bad old days to throw America all off-kilter in preparation for a future attack. What better day to attack us then the Monday after Daylight Savings starts? Can you imagine the chaos and confusion? We'd be so groggy and discombobulated there'd be no way we'd be able to wage a counter attack. By the time people became acclimated to the time change, most of us would already be dead or enslaved. Our only hope is Arizona. Good luck Arizona. You're going to need it.

Someone with some gumption and a truck load of follow through (no, not me) needs to end this insanity. How about it President Obama---can you and your work-wife, Oprah, take care of this?

Popular posts from this blog

Why Do We Take Sports So Seriously?

I wouldn't have ever been picked to be “Sporty Spice.” I'd probably get picked as the "Likes Stuffed Animals Too Much Spice." Point being, I wasn't much of a sports player or sports fan growing up. I spent most of my days cataloging my stuffed animals' life experiences in a notebook and stirring up self-directed trouble in the neighborhood.
In an ironic twist, in addition to their love of stuffed animals (thanks to me), my boys love sports. Four years ago I'd never heard of "Comp” Sports. Now, most of my time is spent practicing, playing, or talking about them---oh and let’s not forget paying for them.

15 years ago if someone told me I’d be a “baseball mom” who spent every weekend and weekday shuffling her kids to practices and games, I’d call them bat-crap crazy. (*Sigh* the things we’ll do for our kids…am I right?) 
Since my kids started playing sports, I’ve seen and heard a lot of things that made me question the inherent goodness of the average…

Rock, Paper, Scissors, Pencil

Okay, so I didn't succeed in stopping the Kaysville cannon this year. But next year will be different. Next year, I'm actually going to try. I'll keep you posted.

On to a different subject, which is somewhat related to the previous topic since both involve me improving the world. I'm looking to renew my childhood dream of adding pencil to the rock, paper, scissors game. I added it many, many years ago, and was able to successfully convert my next-door neighbor, so I'm pretty sure now that I'm all grown up and wiser and what not, that I'll have no problem convincing the rest of you to add it.

Instead of saying "Rock, Paper, Scissors" you will say "Rock, Paper, Scissors, Pencil." Okay, see now, it's a subtle but significant difference. There are four elements instead of three. It might seem a bit tricky at first, but you'll get the hang of it, and then you will never want to go back to the original version.

The rules are as follow…

How Much Should You Tip A Balloon Artist?

When did balloon animals get so complex? Check out the detail on these works of art:

I used to tip the balloon guy a dollar per balloon animal and felt like that was fair. Today with all the detail work the guy put in I felt $1.00 wasn't enough, so I upped it to $2.00. Now I'm wondering if that was too low. Also, when I asked where he learned his craft, he answered, "Jail." I LOLd. Would that warrant a higher tip? Then on the ride home my kids insisted that was his only job, and that made me sad.