Daylight Savings Can Kiss It

I hate daylight savings. Daylight savings is the dumbest invention since the Steam Buggy. It was impossible to sleep on Sunday night and even more impossible to wake up this morning. Even inebriated on a ridiculous amount of Diet Pepsi, I'm still ornery as all get out and looking for someone to blame.

Despite what all the crooked politicians tell you, messing with the clock twice a year isn't doing anybody any good. Please don't tell me it's saving energy; that's a myth. I woke up an hour earlier today and had to turn on all my lights, crank the space heater and fire up all the other appliances. So now instead of using all that energy an extra hour each night, I'm just using it an extra hour each morning.

Also, don't give me that milarky about how now with an extra hour of daylight you can work on your farm or play hide-and-seek outside an extra hour at night. Face it, you don't have a farm, and if you did, everyone knows farmers do their work in the morning. Now they have to do an hour of chores in the even darker, colder morning. And as for playing longer, do we really need the kids up an extra hour? We have a hard enough time getting our kids to bed at night. Now with it getting dark later, that makes it even more difficult.

I'm pretty sure Daylight Savings was invented by the Russians back in the bad old days to throw America all off-kilter in preparation for a future attack. What better day to attack us then the Monday after Daylight Savings starts? Can you imagine the chaos and confusion? We'd be so groggy and discombobulated there'd be no way we'd be able to wage a counter attack. By the time people became acclimated to the time change, most of us would already be dead or enslaved. Our only hope is Arizona. Good luck Arizona. You're going to need it.

Someone with some gumption and a truck load of follow through (no, not me) needs to end this insanity. How about it President Obama---can you and your work-wife, Oprah, take care of this?


  1. my sentiments exactly!!

  2. I'm nice and alert, whats your big deal :) Hey, I completely agree....even me and my mom were talking about this today. Good luck with it...slowly you will come around and get used to the schedule, just as it it time to change times again :)


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