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Why Add Brown to a Rainbow?

Is it me or are rainbow sprinkles not as pretty as they used to be? When did they add brown sprinkles to the rainbow mix? When I hear the word 'rainbow' I think of a traditional rainbow, which includes red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple. I have never seen a rainbow that included brown.

It's not that I'm against the color brown. I think brown sprinkles look lovely by themselves. I'm not saying they can't be paired with other colors either, like other shades of brown, or white, or pink, or even turquoise. But in the rainbow mix, blech. It doesn't work. All the other colors are light and bright and then you have this dark chocolate brown thrown in. It clashes. I've looked everywhere for sprinkles without brown and can't find any. I can find other types of shakable candy confections without brown, like the nonpareils, candy confetti, and colored sugar, but not in the traditional 'jimmy' style sprinkle.

I was about to the point of skipping sprinkles altogether, when I decided to buy a tub anyway, with the hopes that someone (someone who's not me) would separate out the chocolate sprinkles. Surprisingly, or honestly I guess not too surprisingly, nobody wanted to do it. So like all vitally import things around here, I had to do it myself. It took me about 15 minutes...for one cookie. It's a lot harder than you'd think. Sprinkles are tiny. My fingers felt like dumb jumbo hot dogs as they probed around in the sprinkle mix trying to pick out the brown ones. I ended the segregation after the first cookie. Only one of the thirty-one cookies I made looked acceptable. The other thirty looked like they were swarmed by a gang of tiny brown ants.

Check out the pictures below, if you are still in doubt about the destructive power of the brown sprinkle.

Picture A--No Brown



Picture B--Yes Brown
To me, Picture B looks like it is artfully scattered with droppings from a wee mouse. Not appetizing.

So instead of just sitting idly by and complaining like I usually do, I decided to send a letter to Cake Mate, one of the companies responsible for this abomination. Unfortunately, as I phrased, rephrased, and rephrased the letter again, I found it impossible to explain my irritation without sounding like a crazed racist. So here I am yet again sitting idly by and complaining about it.

So tell me, am I crazy, or am I right? What's your opinion on this very important matter?

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