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Showing posts from December, 2008

Self Deception and Cheesecake

I had a major revelation about myself the other day. It's such a huge thing, that now I'm finding myself questioning everything I thought I knew about me. I thought I loved cheesecake. I truly believed that I loved it from from the moment I tasted it years ago when I was a teenager. I've been eating it for like twenty years, thinking it was one of my favorite desserts.

But then the other day, I had a moment of clarity and realized I'd been lying to myself. I don't really like cheesecake. What the heck?

I made a small cheesecake a couple of days ago. I ate a piece and was like, "Hmmm, not great. Don't need to make that recipe again." The next day, I went to throw it out and decided to give it one more try. I took one bite and thought,"Okay, it's not too bad." Took a second bite, and thought, "Nope still don't like it." Then I thought to myself, "Okay girl, why don't you like it? This is a basic cheesecake; what's…

Christmas is Coming, The Goose Is Getting Fat!

Have you ever wondered what that Christmas song is really about? Most people think it's about a goose getting fat and putting pennies in hats. But actually the term "goose" is Gaelic for Jill, "pennies" means desserts and/or junk food, and the term "hat", actually refers to Jill's mouth.

So yes, this is my Christmas theme song. And yes, Christmas is coming, and yes, I am getting fat! What is the deal with Christmas? I can't stop eating all the tasty holiday food. There is just so much delicious stuff everywhere. And it all looks so pretty. And so delicious. And so prettily-delicious. Thanks to Julie's baking skills, the other day, I woke up and had chocolate cake for breakfast, and then turned around and had chocolate cake for lunch. Who does that? Is it the cold? Is it the stress?

My scale doesn't work, so I don't know how much weight I've gained so far. (It's actually kind of nice not to know.) Reni claims it's not br…

Real or Fake?

If you were to write down the pros and cons of purchasing a live Christmas tree, the con list would far exceed the pro (as I'm sure you all know). So why still buy one?

Before I answer that, let me just say that I judgeth not anyone who buyeth an artificial tree. To each their own.
For me, a real tree says," mmmm, ahhhh Christmas," like a plastic one never could (not literally though). Yes, a lot of it is because of the smell, but there's more to it that's hard to put into words. A fake tree is always perfect, and always the same. Real trees are always imperfect and changing, which I find quite endearing and continually interesting. (I feel the same way about people.)There is a part of me that gets a little creeped out by fake things that mimic live things. Things like fake plants, mannequins, and dead people who've been embalmed can be unsettling.Real trees provide a lot of opportunity for complaining. I enjoy complaining.
At the end, you get to throw it awa…

Want Seriously Dry Pits?

Very few products meet my expectations. Even less exceed my expectations. So when I recommend something, you can bet that I don't do it lightly. If you've ever been known to sweat in the underarm region, even though you religiously apply deodorant each morning, put down the mouse and go out and by Secret Clinical Strength deodorant; immediately! This stuff is amazing.

When you see it at the store you'll probably mutter, "$8 bucks, are you kidding me, it can't be that good." That's what I said, but I tried it anyway. And let me tell you sister, it's worth every penny. Since buying it, it's like I don't even have sweat glands anymore. I could be sitting under a heat lamp in a humid Madagascar jungle, sweating profusely about the head and neck, but my underarms? Dry as the desert.

When I first heard of the whole clinical strength stuff, I figured
I didn't qualify as a potential user because I wasn't naturally sweatier (is that a word?) th…

Okay, I admit it. I'm a wimp.

For many years I believed I was as strong or stronger than most women, and as strong as a few men. I assumed that if a guy ever attacked me in a dark parking lot, I could easily fight him off. I figured if I got in a bar fight with another woman I would have no trouble taking her out. After all, I lift weights. I can carry our vacuum up and down the stairs. I can lift both my boys at the same time. Plus, I've seen a lot of TV shows where women beat up guys, lift cars off people, and such.

Looking back, there were signs over the past decade that I wasn't as strong as I thought I was. There was that time that I told Reni to stop letting me win when we were wrestling, and he pinned me in like a thousandth of a second. And the time that my 60+ year old mother had to pull out a shrub for me because I was too weak to do it. But I was able to rationalize all those things. Both Reni and my mom must be freaks of nature, I told myself.

But the other day, something happened that made me gi…

Gingerbread Facade

First off, let me begin with a report on my Thanksgiving pie....It tasted so freakin' awesome! Yep. I didn't ruin Thanksgiving afterall. Well, let's just say my pie didn't ruin Thanksgiving. Even my Dad raved. I believe his exact words of highest praise were, "hmmm, not bad."
Now, on to Christmas. Saturday we attended the Gingerbread House making party my haircutter lady has every year. Personally, I wouldn't classify it as a party, but that's what she calls it, so that's how I'll refer to it here. At the 'party' we bring stuff for our gingerbread houses and she makes all the frosting. Then we assemble our houses and leave. She invites her and her husband's immediate family and their spouses and children, as well as some cousins and aunts and friends of cousins and aunts. We are the only ones who aren't related. I'm not positive why she keeps inviting us, but I have my suspicions.

This year, we decided to build a Christmas v…