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Showing posts from November, 2008

Pumpkin Pie

Let's talk pie. First off, if anybody ever makes you a pie, then they really must love you. The same could be said for cut-out, frosted sugar cookies, but this post is about pie, so I won't mention that. I started my Thanksgiving pie making at 4:30 PM today. It's 7:34 PM right now. I haven't even started making the filling yet. The last 3 hours has all gone into making the crust. The crust requires 3 separate chillings, which are eating up all my time. Now I'm just hanging out, waiting for the proper chill factor. Why didn't I do the crust last night? Why!? Bah!

7:53 PM. The final chill is complete. Now I will pre-bake the crust, and then heat up the filling (something new I'm trying, hope it works; I wouldn't want to ruin a pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving and hear those three dreaded words: WORST. THANKSGIVING. EVER.).

8:30. I just poured the hot filling into the hot pie crust. I put on the pie shield crust protector thingy and put it in the oven. It shou…

And you thought the Internet was a fad...

I started Christmas shopping yesterday. Usually, I wait until about December 21, then rush about in a panic, but this year I vowed to finish early. Actually, I vow that every year, and I never do it. But maybe, just maybe, this year will be different.

Anywho, as I was walking around the crowded aisles of Toys R Us, I realized that store shopping is totally lame. The Internet has ruined me. I couldn't find anything at the store. I kept wishing I could just type in what I wanted, press a button, and be instantly taken to its location. Sure, the sales people mean well and try to help, but they usually aren't helpful, especially if you can only remember a few keywords of the items you're shopping for.

I like to over-analyze almost every purchase I make (which is one of the reasons I don't have cable TV), and it was impossible to do at the store, because everytime I stopped moving so I could conduct my extensive toy analysis, a 300 lb guy and his wife kept glowering over me …

My 2008 Thanksgiving Eating Strategy Dilemma

A good Thanksgiving eating strategy ensures that you don't get nauseatingly full, but still achieve maximum meal satisfaction.

Back in the day, I wouldn't strategize. I would simply eat as much of everything as was humanly possible. Then one day on the way home from Thanksgiving dinner, feeling miserable with food, I realized that my non-strategy strategy wasn't working for me. I wanted to enjoy the food and not feel terrible for hours afterward. And thus was born the yearly eating strategy.

Last year my strategy was to eat a lot of mashed potatoes and gravy (my MIL makes killer mashed potatoes and gravy), a tiny taste of turkey, yams, and one slice of pie. It was a success.

I'm having trouble coming up with a strategy this year. The only thing I know for sure is that I'm going to try some dark meat (if turkeys still come with dark meat). I've lost my taste for turkey, and someone suggested I try the dark stuff. Other than that, I'm at a loss. I wonder if I…

I told my kids the truth about Santa Claus

So as my kids' Christmas lists became so long they required a second page, I decided to sit them down and tell them the truth about Santa...

Me: Santa probably won't get you all the stuff on your list this year.
Them: Why not?
Me: Well...Santa lost a lot of money in the Stock Marketand the price of materials and gas has gone up, so he can't afford to make and deliver all the toys kids ask for.
Them: What's a Stock Market?
Me: It's, it's, well, it's...okay, wait, where's the whiteboard marker?

I explained why the economy was so rotten, and they actually listened. Well, they actually pretended to listen, and did it quite well.

After I concluded, Ryder took the marker and said:

"This is our house. (drew a dot). We drive from our house (drew a line across the board) and go to the bank. Then we get some money (drew another line back to the starting point) and drive back."

Ah, the simplicity of a child. He obviously wasn't paying attention to the cred…

Maybe It's Cancer

I don't know what it is, but something is definitely wrong. Maybe it's cancer; maybe I had a stroke. The fact is, my lifelong addiction to television is waning! That's right. I haven't been into TV at all this Fall. That's so not like me. What's wrong with me? Should I see a doctor?

I've had an unhealthy fondness for television for as long as I can remember. And now, with a couple small exceptions, I couldn't care less if I watch it at all. That's not right. I attribute a large part of who I am today to TV. I'm not ready to say goodbye.

Lately, when I sit down to watch a few sitcoms or reality shows, I get bored. They don't seem funny or entertaining to me. I'm not into any of the hour long dramas, so I can't comment on those. (I'm a "more is better" type, so given the opportunity, I'll always choose to watch two shows per hour instead of just one.)

Why couldn't this happen with one of my other unhealthy addictions…