I told my kids the truth about Santa Claus

So as my kids' Christmas lists became so long they required a second page, I decided to sit them down and tell them the truth about Santa...

Me: Santa probably won't get you all the stuff on your list this year.
Them: Why not?
Me: Well...Santa lost a lot of money in the Stock Market and the price of materials and gas has gone up, so he can't afford to make and deliver all the toys kids ask for.
What's a Stock Market?
Me: It's, it's, well, it's...okay, wait, where's the whiteboard marker?

I explained why the economy was so rotten, and they actually listened. Well, they actually pretended to listen, and did it quite well.

After I concluded, Ryder took the marker and said:

"This is our house. (drew a dot)
. We drive from our house (drew a line across the board) and go to the bank. Then we get some money (drew another line back to the starting point) and drive back."

Ah, the simplicity of a child. He obviously wasn't paying attention to the credit-crunch portion of my presentation. Drunk with the power of the whiteboard (and frankly, who can blame him) he wanted to continue his lecture, but Asher was ready for his turn. (I'll skip the details on the resulting fight, and just move on to Asher's rebuttal.)

Asher drew a picture of
Plankton--the guy from Spongebob---sitting on a rock. Then said, "We push this (pointed to the rock). The money goes up to Plankton's ears (drew lines up to Plankton's ears).Then the money comes out and we all have enough money (drew lines coming out of Plankton's ears)

When he was finished, the two of them were silently beaming at me, with smug little looks on their faces. And then one of them said, "See, Santa will bring us everything on our list."

To which I replied something along the lines of, "Uhhh, okay, never mind. Let's go eat some cookies."

So the moral of the story is, don't tell your kids the truth about Santa Claus. Instead, "mail" their lists and then hope they forget half the stuff they asked for. That's my new plan.


  1. I blamed it on over-population problems. It's worked for several years now. "Because we have so many people in the world now...Santa only buys 2-3 gifts per child and moms and dads have to buy all the rest." It also helps to explain the gift giving not being equal among friends and peers that they start to notice as they get older.

  2. We told our kids that Santa had to lay off some of the elves and he only had time to make one gift per child and he can't make gifts that are priced over 75 dollars, because the gas it takes for the sleigh to run, because the reindeer have moved on to bigger and better things, is too much. Besides I already got them their christmas presents, now I just have to steer them in the direction, of...this is what you really want...it's so cool, and hope they don't change their minds two days before Chrismas! Keeping my fingers crossed.

  3. Love the use of the white board :)
    We (Ty and I) haven't talked about Christmas yet this year. Tage has gotten the Walmart ad and circled practically every thing on every page. We need to talk about it. A friend of mine is starting something new this year... Only 3 gifts form Mom and Dad...Christ was only given 3 gifts, focusing more on the meaning of Christmas. I think its a good idea. I've been wanting to post it, but haven't. Oh, and Santa does 2 gifts. She only has a 2 1/2 yr old and a 10 month yr old so its easy for her to start this...us on the other hand, down-sizing in a good word.
    Another thing a friend is doing with her fam. is 4 gifts
    ...something you read, need, wear, want. I thought that was good too.

  4. I am with Jackie, Santa can only afford 1-2 gifts because of all the kids in the world. My kids have bought that for a couple of years now. It works well!


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