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Spinning ain't Rocket Science

Is operating a stationary bicycle really all that complicated? I mean, doesn't every adult know how they work? The extent of every possible thing you can do on it involves 1)pedaling, then 2) standing or sitting. Oh, and 3) changing the tension. That's pretty much it.

Given that, what's the deal with the Friday spin teacher at my gym? This morning, it took her over 11 minutes to explain how to operate the bike. 11 minutes! And from what I could see, all the people in the class had been in the class before. Even if I'd never been on a bike in my life, I think I could figure it out on my own within a minute or two. Then, after the 11 minute prologue on the bike, after each song, or routine, or whatever they call it, she would give us a long description of what we were going to do next.

"So next (pause) we're going to reach out our right hand (pause) then extend our left hand. (pause) Then when I say (pause) we're going to rise."

You'd think after the lengthy explanation, we'd just stand up and get on with it, but no, then as we are doing it, another explanation:

Okay....so here we go....take your right hand (pause) and reach out to the bar and grasp it (pause) now with your left hand (pause) grab the left bar, (pause) but not too firmly. Okay...(pause) now...rise." (Yes, she actually used the word rise)

Seriously people, it's a bike for goodness sakes, a stationary bike, it's bolted to the floor. How many surprises could there be? Is she afraid we'll get confused? Is she afraid we'll get lost in the routine? Is she worried we'll get hurt?

"Oh no! I totally lost my place! What's going on? Ahhhh! Everyone is standing while I am sitting, I am so lost! What should I do? I'm so, so embarrassed! Eeeee, this is so dangerous, I'm falling off the bike now!!!! I'm falling! Ahhhh! I wish I would have seen this coming, I wish she'd prepared us! If I'd only known, none of this would have happened! I'm never coming back to this class! Never!"

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