Just the thought of producing a urine sample gives me a sense of dread seasoned with a dash of panic. First, there's the worry over having any urine at all, and then there's the worry of getting enough inside the cup with a minimum on the outside. With all my historical baggage surrounding what I thought to be a universally horrifying experience, imagine my surprise when I discovered that for some, this experience is not only non-horrifying, nay, but enjoyable, mayhaps even delightful and fun.
Asher had his pre-Kindergarten exam today. The nurse handed me the dreaded little cup and asked for a urine sample. Asher, Ryder, and I headed to the bathroom. I quickly explained to Asher what he needed to do. He looked at the cup and hesitated, then started looking worried.
"What's wrong honey,"I asked.
I braced myself. I was certain he would tell me he didn't have to go, or worried he would miss and pee on my hand.
Finally he blurted out, "But what if I overflow it!?"
I was surprised and a bit comforted by his confidence. Then we got down to business. With me holding the cup, he filled it half way. There wasn't a single drop dribbling on the side or on my hand. I was shocked and ever so proud. If he were in the Olympics for urine sample donation, he would have won the gold!
"If only it were that easy for women," I thought. (Three cheers for the penis.)
I screwed on the lid and placed it in the secret compartment. Asher couldn't stop peeking inside to check on his achievement.
In the meantime, I asked Ryder if he had to go. He did, but then started whining,
"I need a cup! I need a cup!"
"Sorry honey, but you'll have to go in the toilet," I told him.
He was crushed. He took it as some type of punishment.
Then Asher asked me, "Can we go in a cup at home Mommy?" Please!?"