Is My Dog Prettier Than Me?

When compared with other women, I know I wouldn't be the one to win a beauty contest, but up until now, I never thought I'd lose one to a dog!

Last week we took Stella for what was suppose to be a simple bath and haircut. As it turns out, it was a bit more. Apparently she had quite the transformation and she crossed a line---a line that makes the event equal to an A-Grade Oprah-style makeover.

Asher was looking at the two of us for awhile after her "makeover" and then said,

"Stella sure looks pretty, huh Momma."

"She sure does," I answered.

"She looks prettier than you now, he said. "Doesn't she Momma?"

I didn't know how to respond. If I said yes, then I'd be admitting that our dog is more attractive, if I said no, then I wondered what kind of prideful message I was sending my son. I've never been compared to a dog based on looks before, and was left a bit puzzled. I would have been happy to forget all about it, but Asher kept reminding me, over and over...and over again. Then I thought maybe he was just trying to tease me, so I decided to ask Ryder. Ryder is too young to lie.

"Ryder, who's prettier, me or Stella?" I asked him.

Without hesitation, he looked at me and answered, "Stella!"

So, I'm going to do a bit of analysis and and decide truly who is more attractive.

1. Stella is 12. I'm 38. (1 point to Stella).
2. Stella is at least 5 pounds overweight. I am at least 5 pounds overweight. ( Tie. No points)
3. I have green eyes, Stella has cloudy brown/yellow eyes (cataracts aren't attractive). (1 point Jill)
4. Stella has blonde hair. I have brown hair. (1 point Stella) ---No sense in kidding myself.
5. Stella eats poo. I do not eat poo. ( 1 point Jill) -- that was a cheap shot, I know.

There, that's all I can think of. That makes 3 points for Stella and (oh crap) 2 points for me. I guess my kids are right, Stella is the pretty one in the family.

I'm depressed now. I'm going to go to compare myself to the neighbor's pug...

Comments

  1. I personaly think that you have a nice ass, and well, Stella has a tail, so that is one more point for Jill!!! And I am just mad that you are only 5 lbs overweight!!!

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  2. I think you just need to add blue bows on the side of your head and that will put you over the top!

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