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Don't Leave Your Epitaph To Your Kids

When you have a moment, may I suggest that you have a seat, put pen to paper and write down what you want etched on your headstone. This is the final statement the rest of the world will read about you for years to come, and therefore should not be left to your bozo family members.

Next time you're wandering (or speed-walking, or playing Pokemon Go) in a cemetery, notice how little creativity was put into the epitaphs. When most people are deciding what to write on their dearly-departed's tombstone, they probably just pick one from the list on the sheet of paper taped to the wall next to the receptionist's desk at the Headstone shop,  titled "50 Top Epitaphs." If you leave your epitaph to your "survivors," yours will just be one more headstone that none of the early-morning joggers at the cemetery stops to look at.

It's not your family's fault. Granted, none of them are very creative, but you died and they're most likely sad. They aren'…

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